Welcome to the Real World Sucker! - The Final Episode
I had always hated people who attempt suicide after failure or after a breakup. I perceived them as cowards, those who want to run away and escape life because it is too hard upon them. But this singular event gave me the insight what compels them to do so...
In my journey uphill I made a lot of friends. A remarkable feat I consider, as I am a solitary being and don't socialize too well. Maybe it is because I like to help without asking for (or even expecting) something in return - A trait I have acquired from my communications with the 'being'. Alright, I have calmed down, let's just call him god. When you help someone and expect him/her to help you back when you're in need but they don't, you feel hurt. To avoid this, just forget the deed as soon as it is done. Besides, it felt good whenever I helped someone, especially when I did it without revealing myself ( I am Batman you know...) so I went on helping. But somewhere deep within, I was a little selfish. I thought that by helping so many people, god might actually be generous to me in the end...
Little hopes that keep you together when you are being torn apart...
All these failures I encountered, didn't deter me from dreaming big. All's well that ends well, so goes the saying. After getting to know that I failed, I didn't care much and started to climb faster and harder. All the time, I visualized my dream in front of me. To get to the top and get a name amongst those who climbed the treacherous peak in the first attempt. And I loved the journey. Each day was a lesson. You get to meet amazing people hailing from different places. You are surprised to find common interests among yourselves. You get to enjoy the beauty of scenery around you and feel proud that you are a participant of this huge race...
Day by day as I kept receding back and watched others surpass me, I felt insecure. Where am I going wrong? What else should I do to climb faster? Desperate, I stopped talking with fellow climbers, didn't rest to entertain myself, didn't wait to adore the view...
The slope became steeper every moment I wasted...
As we all edged closer to the peak, there came a region that no one wanted to pass through but which was obligatory to in order reach the end. (The Boards.....) Climbing this pitch made it even more difficult for us as those who had passed this the first time, didn't have to go through it again. Yet, hopeful of easier terrain ahead, we passed it too. The results of this climb will not in anyway affect the primary climb, except if you had performed miserably.
In the last few kilometers, I felt like a corpse. Exhausted to death, freezing temperatures, muscles stop obeying you and work on their own. I was tired but couldn't sleep due to excitement. I saw nothing but the peak....
The final race to the peak began...
I was brimming with confidence that day. Wished everyone good luck in my mind and prayed for the final time. All the time I was jovial and tried to ease up the tension of my friends whom I met that day. And just when everything seemed alright and was going on smoothly, I grabbed a lose stone........
I fell down to the bottom...
I failed...
Once again...
When I regained consciousness, I was dumbstruck for a little while.
Is this a fucking game?! So close to victory! I almost had it in my hands!! And yet I fail??!!
It was as if the destiny was taunting me. All my hard work, all my efforts for these two years went in vain. These words kept repeating within me,"I have failed my teachers, I have failed my parents, I have failed myself."
The day I needed him the most, he failed to show up...
This is all his doing! Why did you abandon me? Were my prayers not genuine? Were all those conversations false? Maybe there was no one. Maybe it was all inside me. Maybe I have become mad! After climbing such a large stretch and having no time to spend on myself, I lost all emotions. Only rage and panic stayed behind....
Since I couldn't cry to ease up my burden, I burned inside...
I felt so hollow. It was like a part of me was taken away by someone and it sucked in the rest of my body.
I had always hated people who attempt suicide after failure or after a breakup. I perceived them as cowards, those who want to run away and escape life because it is too hard upon them. But this singular event gave me the insight to what compels them to do so... When you have trusted someone for so long and yet they betray you, when you have worked so hard for something and still you failed... Life becomes meaningless for you...
I felt purposeless. My mind was invaded with thoughts of suicide. Yet I persisted for one reason. I know he exists and this very fact burns me up. In my mind I was yelling at him," Why didn't you just killed me before all this? You made me climb all the way up just to fall down? What is the reason behind all this?!" I just wanted to know the reason for my failure...
To add the icing to the cake......
A few days later friends and relatives began asking about the climb, whether I reached the peak or not... Broken and shattered, I lied to all of them that I completed the climb.
Every passing day, my hatred for the world increases. It keeps yelling back to me," So you really thought you had a chance? You really thought you were unique? You thought miracles really happen? Welcome to the real world! Sucker!"
To all those who made the climb and who never tasted defeat... This is what failing at the face of victory feels like...
-An anonymous person who didn't qualify for the competitive examinations.(Not the storyteller)
In my journey uphill I made a lot of friends. A remarkable feat I consider, as I am a solitary being and don't socialize too well. Maybe it is because I like to help without asking for (or even expecting) something in return - A trait I have acquired from my communications with the 'being'. Alright, I have calmed down, let's just call him god. When you help someone and expect him/her to help you back when you're in need but they don't, you feel hurt. To avoid this, just forget the deed as soon as it is done. Besides, it felt good whenever I helped someone, especially when I did it without revealing myself ( I am Batman you know...) so I went on helping. But somewhere deep within, I was a little selfish. I thought that by helping so many people, god might actually be generous to me in the end...
Little hopes that keep you together when you are being torn apart...
All these failures I encountered, didn't deter me from dreaming big. All's well that ends well, so goes the saying. After getting to know that I failed, I didn't care much and started to climb faster and harder. All the time, I visualized my dream in front of me. To get to the top and get a name amongst those who climbed the treacherous peak in the first attempt. And I loved the journey. Each day was a lesson. You get to meet amazing people hailing from different places. You are surprised to find common interests among yourselves. You get to enjoy the beauty of scenery around you and feel proud that you are a participant of this huge race...
Day by day as I kept receding back and watched others surpass me, I felt insecure. Where am I going wrong? What else should I do to climb faster? Desperate, I stopped talking with fellow climbers, didn't rest to entertain myself, didn't wait to adore the view...
The slope became steeper every moment I wasted...
As we all edged closer to the peak, there came a region that no one wanted to pass through but which was obligatory to in order reach the end. (The Boards.....) Climbing this pitch made it even more difficult for us as those who had passed this the first time, didn't have to go through it again. Yet, hopeful of easier terrain ahead, we passed it too. The results of this climb will not in anyway affect the primary climb, except if you had performed miserably.
In the last few kilometers, I felt like a corpse. Exhausted to death, freezing temperatures, muscles stop obeying you and work on their own. I was tired but couldn't sleep due to excitement. I saw nothing but the peak....
The final race to the peak began...
I was brimming with confidence that day. Wished everyone good luck in my mind and prayed for the final time. All the time I was jovial and tried to ease up the tension of my friends whom I met that day. And just when everything seemed alright and was going on smoothly, I grabbed a lose stone........
I fell down to the bottom...
I failed...
Once again...
When I regained consciousness, I was dumbstruck for a little while.
Is this a fucking game?! So close to victory! I almost had it in my hands!! And yet I fail??!!
It was as if the destiny was taunting me. All my hard work, all my efforts for these two years went in vain. These words kept repeating within me,"I have failed my teachers, I have failed my parents, I have failed myself."
The day I needed him the most, he failed to show up...
This is all his doing! Why did you abandon me? Were my prayers not genuine? Were all those conversations false? Maybe there was no one. Maybe it was all inside me. Maybe I have become mad! After climbing such a large stretch and having no time to spend on myself, I lost all emotions. Only rage and panic stayed behind....
Since I couldn't cry to ease up my burden, I burned inside...
I felt so hollow. It was like a part of me was taken away by someone and it sucked in the rest of my body.
I had always hated people who attempt suicide after failure or after a breakup. I perceived them as cowards, those who want to run away and escape life because it is too hard upon them. But this singular event gave me the insight to what compels them to do so... When you have trusted someone for so long and yet they betray you, when you have worked so hard for something and still you failed... Life becomes meaningless for you...
I felt purposeless. My mind was invaded with thoughts of suicide. Yet I persisted for one reason. I know he exists and this very fact burns me up. In my mind I was yelling at him," Why didn't you just killed me before all this? You made me climb all the way up just to fall down? What is the reason behind all this?!" I just wanted to know the reason for my failure...
To add the icing to the cake......
A few days later friends and relatives began asking about the climb, whether I reached the peak or not... Broken and shattered, I lied to all of them that I completed the climb.
Every passing day, my hatred for the world increases. It keeps yelling back to me," So you really thought you had a chance? You really thought you were unique? You thought miracles really happen? Welcome to the real world! Sucker!"
To all those who made the climb and who never tasted defeat... This is what failing at the face of victory feels like...
-An anonymous person who didn't qualify for the competitive examinations.(Not the storyteller)
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